When Jesus comes in His glory (reveals His face to you, Who He is), you become starkly aware of everything you hold on to that isn't of Him. It can feel like torture to not be willing to let go of these things when the Giver of Life is right there present and in your midst. Sometimes it isn't as easy as just choosing to let go. A part of you is more than willing to let go, but another part afraid to because it knows no other way to cope with pain and life. It is in this torturous tension where you will either writhe in the agony of being so close yet willfully far from His full embrace, or you come to the place of surrendering your protection mechanisms to Jesus. In heartsync, sozo, etc this would be the equivilent of your guardians/protectors surrendering what they know (their protection mechanisms) in favor of Jesus becoming the primary guardian and protector of your soul. It sometimes isn't as easy as it sounds, as most people are not fully aware/conscious of how their guardians unconsiously or automatically protect the places of wounding/pain in their hearts. I know I am not much of the time. How do you surrender something you arent even consciously aware of?
In the time Jesus has been bringing me through the process of renewal in my heart (closer to His heart), I have concluded there is no full-proof methodology that will get you 100% there. While most people would like to feel they have some level of control over the process, it just isn't so. It requires a whole other level of trust to be able to fully surrender the process to Jesus and trust that He will take care of it in the best possible way and with the utmost care. When Jesus takes over, it isn't always rainbows and butterflies. There is still a real battle for the soul that takes place, and it is often accelerated beyond your ability to handle (without Him). In other words, it isn't always pretty. You will need to be willing to give up your diginity and the face you put on to look good around others.
Surrendering to the Lord means completely laying down your need to look dignified and put together to the people around you and to God. It means to humble yourself and become completely transparent before Him and others. Why is it necessary to become transparent to other people? As long as you hold on to your need to look good around others, humility has no place to land in your heart. It is a place of pride to need to look dignified independent of God. The place of highest dignity and honor is in Him. It is the place of greatest honor in all of time and creation to be united to Him. He cannot give you the place of highest honor unless you are willing to give up any worldly honor or dignity you are holding to. Worldly dignity and honor stand in the way of Him fully taking up residence in your soul.
You cannot obtain the greatest prize of all (Jesus Himself) until you are willing to give up all to obtain Him. Of course, Jesus should not be looked at as some sort of trophy to obtain, as this in and in itself is self-seeking, obtaining confidence in what you possess. In short, pride. Jesus sees right though this way of thinking and will not share His glory with those who have this way of thinking.
Jesus is the Perfect companion, Lover, and Protector. However, He is God, and He is fully aware of the intentions of our heart. Any sort of desire that looks to gain the benefits of having Jesus without a desire to truly know Who He is, will prevent Him from coming close in your heart and for true transformation in your heart to happen. What is He looking for? A true lover and companion for Him to partner with. A bride! He already cares deeply about our cares, but the question is do you care deeply about His cares? Do you care about what hurts His heart, makes Him weep, makes Him laugh, or brings joy to His heart? The thing that boggles the mind is that He (Jesus), humbles Himself to such an extent, that we are actually able to impact His heart in such a profound way that no other beings in all of creation can. Do you get it yet? Do you understand the profound honor He has given us to be able to effect His heart at such a deep level? The Creator of the heavens and earth is deeply moved by you! Do you understand how significant it is to have the full attention and affection of the most powerful and significant One, the almighty God, the Creator of all? Has it sunk in yet? He is worth surrendering everything to have as your closest companion.
Once you have even a glimpse of Who He is, your desire for Him rises above everything else. There are truly no words to describe how wonderful He is, how perfectly Loving He is, how glorious it is to be His friend, and how incomprehendibly safe it is to take refuge in Him.
In the midst of the process, sometimes one of your earthly coping mechanisms may pop up that is familiar and easy to rely on to cope with life. For those who know His closeness, when this happens, our normal life begins to feel like a tormenting hell without Him. When earthly coping mechanisms become easy to run to, you know it has been too long since you have been with Him.
Believe it or not, it is easy to forget how wonderful it was to be under the shadow of His wing when you are in a moment of insecurity and pain. I don't fully understand this, as it seems beyond insanity to choose to run to anything besides Him. Yet, we are human and sometimes choose this insanity. I believe He veils Himself at times to prevent interference with our free will. When you experience His face (His glory), in those moments you are convinced that you will never turn away from Him ever again. However, times do come up where we may choose to not run to Him to cope with our brokeness. If anything, the very fact that this situation is even possible shows how much Jesus cares about us having free will and it truly being our choice.
It truly is our choice, and though not the easiest choice at first, it is the best choice we could make to willfully surrender our entire process to Him. If you don't feel like you even know how to do this. Welcome to the club. We are all human and have no capacity to do so on our own. The best thing to do is to ask Jesus for the ability to so, and watch as He rushes in to give you Grace to do it. I can guarantee that He will if you genuinely ask for it. How do I know this? Because, what He wants most is to have communion with you in the depths of your soul. In short, union with God.